Over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve all found it tough to find our joy at times—and that’s OK. There’s been a lot of bad news, loss, and lack of social connection due to the nature of the virus. “Humans are social creatures, and feeling a sense of belonging and connection to others is thought to be a fundamental psychological need,” says Dr. Lora Park, PhD., associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo, SUNY. “Anything we can do to strengthen our social bonds can boost our happiness.” And there’s a lot we can do to be proactive about our happiness. “Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology expert, wrote that ‘50 percent of individual differences in happiness are governed by genes, 10 percent by life circumstances, and the remaining 40 percent by what we do and how we think’—that is, our intentional activities and strategies,” says Park. “40% of our happiness is shaped by how we think about the events in our daily lives and what we decide to do on a daily basis. We have more control than we may think; we can make small changes every day to reliably improve our happiness.”
Habits of the world’s happiest people
They practice gratitude
“Think about or write down something you are grateful for daily,” says Diana Cusumano, LMHC, NCC, director of The JED Foundation Campus & Wellness Initiatives in New York City. “It doesn’t need to be something big, but can be something that you feel went well that day. Doing this on a regular basis will cultivate feelings of joy, and if done daily for a month’s time can help change your perspective on your day-to-day life.”
They express appreciation
“Thank someone publicly that you haven’t thanked before,” says Parks.
They spend time in nature
Based on numerous research studies and surveys, Finland is considered the “happiest country in the world.” A recent study from the University of Helsinkifound a big reason why young Finnish people are so content: they make a point of spending time enjoying the great outdoors. Interestingly, one of the activities that seem to bring the most joy for them is picking berries and mushrooms, although any kind of outside recreation you really love is bound to lift your mood.
They spend quality time with their family and friends
“Whether you’re having a virtual Zoom gathering, or even just texting, calling, or emailing someone can all be ways that we can stay socially connected to others, which can boost people’s feelings of happiness by reminding them of their importance,” says Parks.
They preserve work-life balance
In Denmark, another country considered to be filled with joyful people, working overtime is not the norm. According to data from the city of Copenhagen,Danish people generally work only 37 hours a week over five days. Finding ways to lighten your schedule, through working from home, job sharing, or even switching to a more flexible career, can have a bigger payoff than your current salary if it gives you peace of mind.
They practice self-compassion
“Being kind to oneself creates a compassion container,” Cusamano explains. This can mean taking time for yourself, using kind language towards yourself, and learning what helps you to feel rested and soothed.” Your bubble bath is calling…
They put up holiday decorations early
A new study from the University of Utah/Temple University found that making your house festive can help you bond with your neighbors because they will see you as more fun and social. Bring on the holiday light show!
They write out their joy
“Keep an optimism journal,” suggests Parks. Write anything and everything that makes you feel good—a new song you just heard, the flowers you treated yourself to, how that cookie you enjoyed made your afternoon. Then you can refer back to what made you feel good on any given day, and do it again.
They don’t compare
Who cares what your ex is bragging about on Instagram? “Don’t engage in social comparison with others,” says Parks. “Also, don’t overthink things, or ruminate about them.” Keep your focus on the positive things you have going on in your life.
Take a hike
Switzerland is a country known for both its happy citizens and its amazing hiking trails and walking paths. Follow the lead of a huge chunk of the Swiss population and improve your emotional and physical health by setting out on foot in your neck of the woods. Feel your head clear and your spirits soar as your body thanks you.
Hold the door open for others
“Practice acts of kindness,” urges Parks. Buy a coffee for the person in line behind you at Starbucks. Ask your elderly neighbor if she needs anything at the grocery store. Doing good for others makes you feel fantastic.
They surprise their friends with “just because” gifts
“Spending money on others, rather than on ourselves, has been shown to increase happiness,” says Parks. “Part of the reason again is because we are engaging in an activity that reinforces our social connections with others.” Plus, seeing the joy on another person’s face? Priceless.
They review their accomplishments
“Replay and savor positive moments from your past experiences,” Parks suggests. Mentally reminding yourself of a time when you succeeded is incredibly motivational, as well as an instant mood booster.
They go after new accomplishments
“Commit to your goals and devote time and effort every day to making progress on one, two, or three of those goals,” says Parks. It’s OK to reevaluate standing goals from time to time as well—if they no longer serve you, replace them with fresh achievements you want to aim for.
They have sex
Research finds that it can lift your mood into tomorrow!
They say hi to people
“Research shows, for example, that talking to a stranger during our daily commute on a train can increase happiness, even when we initially predict that it won’t,” says Parks. Even a passing compliment if you happen to like someone’s outfit can be a day-maker, for that person and for you.
They don’t hold grudges
“Learn to forgive,” urges Parks. Forgiveness takes a weight off your shoulders that will give you so much more contentment than hanging on to a heavy grievance.
They see their doctors
“Take care of your mental and physical health,” Parks says. Don’t skip your physical, your health screenings, or therapy sessions—keeping your body and mind well is essential for feeling good.
They send that quick text
Take an extra minute to touch base with your partner and give him/her encouragement or support out of nowhere during the day. “Having these kinds of connections in our lives creates feelings of contentment, security, stability, and understanding,” says Cusamano.
They smile
Researchers at Cardiff University in Wales found that people who got Botox and could not frown reported feeling happier—physiologically, the suppression of negative emotions, and physically smiling, is thought to actually raise your mood!
They send a love letter
It could be to your significant other, parent, sibling, friend, or anyone you want to express your devotion to. “Writing a loved one a letter in the mail can all lead to nourishing that meaningful connection you have, and remind you that you are not alone and have support from them, too,” says Cusamano.
They read
Iceland is consistently recognized in the annual UN Happiness Report as one of the most cheerful countries on earth. One reason, according to local data: Icelanders are really into reading. In fact, Reykjavik has been named a UNESCO City of Literature. Follow this example and revisit your favorite novel, or find new books that spark your curiosity.
They live in the moment
There’s no need to wait until you can finally take that trip to Hawaii, or attend your best friend’s wedding. It’s crucial to look forward to small pleasures every day, according to Harvard Medical School data. Savor your morning coffee, relish petting your dog, indulge in that movie on Netflix you’ve been dying to see.
They meditate
Spanish researchersrecently found that mindfulness is associated with both a sense of purpose in life and engagement in activities, which are also connected with positive outcomes. Moreover, having a purpose in life is linked to higher levels of behavioral activation.
They ask themselves what they truly want
This simple question can eliminate all the doubt and cut through the confusion that keeps you from going after what makes you happiest. Don’t waste your time on things that don’t bring you genuine joy—focus your energies on getting what you truly desire.
They’re flexible
New research from Ghent University in Belgium finds that even if you’re experiencing a negative situation, it’s important to build positive possibilities into your mindset. Not only does this improve your mood, it allows you to better navigate any ambiguity or confusion you may have to deal with.
They eat their veggies
German research found that people who eat vegetables experience great happiness. Bring on the broccoli!
They limit their choices
According to data from Harvard Medical School, the less decision-making you have to do, the less stressed you’ll be. Streamline your options by deciding what is really important, and put aside what doesn’t matter in the long term.
They see the big picture
Whenever you’re feeling down, “remind yourself that this too shall pass, and that you are allowed to feel happy and have moments of joy,” sums up Cusumano. You are bigger than your problems, so enjoy your power, and remember that happiness can be found everywhere in your life. Next up: Habits People Who Never Gain Weight Swear By
Sources
Lora Park, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo, SUNYDiana Cusamano, LMHC, NCC, director of The JED Foundation Campus & Wellness Initiatives in New York City"Happiness from Nature? Adolescents’ Conceptions of the Relation Between Happiness and Nature in Finland." University of Helsinki. “Inferences about homeowners’ sociability: Impact of Christmas decorations and other cues.” Journal of Environmental PsychologyRelationships between Mindfulness, Purpose in Life, Happiness, Anxiety, and Depression: Testing a Mediation Model in a Sample of Women. International Journal of Environmental Research of Public Health. Interpretation of ambiguity in depression. Current opinion in psychology.Healthy food choices are happy food choices: Evidence from a real life sample using smartphone based assessments. Scientific Reports. Want More Happiness? Try This. Harvard Health Publishing.
